(The appraisal meeting I never scheduled but attended anyway. 📈)

There are hours meant for sleep, but the heart chooses reflection instead…

It was 3 AM. Sleep had left the chat. 🥱

Since my brain was in the mood for evaluations, the Universe decided to hold my Year-End Life Review.

No email. No agenda. Just a silent mental summons to an invisible HR office. 🚪

There she was — the Universe’s HR representative. Clipboard, weirdly neutral smile, and that calm, corporate energy that says,

“We’ll now discuss your life using metrics that may or may not make sense — but let’s pretend it’s productive.” 😂

She started.

Q1: Sanity & Overthinking — A Blurred Metric 🧠

HR: Maintained Sanity: 78%. Overthinking Utilization Rate: 122%.

Me: Those are connected, no?

HR: It appears you’ve been running extra mental simulations this year.

Me: Preparedness is not a crime. 🤷‍♀️

HR: We saw. The Packing Anxiety Incident alone logged 17 hours of mental rehearsals.

Me: I just like knowing where I’ll eat if my train gets delayed in a town I might not even pass through. 😐

She scribbled: “Advanced Scenario Planning — Unrequested Skill.”

Q2: People & Emotional Attachments — A Series of Self-Inflicted Dramas 🎭

HR: Let’s discuss Emotional Attachments.

Me: Here we go. 🙄

HR: You’ve maintained excellent social energy conservation. Minimal small talk, maximum peace.

Me: Efficiency is underrated.

HR: However, you did invest emotionally in people who think intermittent replies or ‘haha’ means meaningful engagement.

Me: I call them character-building side quest. 😎

She scribbled: “Delusional , Self-Created Traumas.”

Me: Do I at least get bonus points for emotional endurance?

HR: Well… you get… Experience and Patience.

Of course I do.

Q3: Workplace Engagement & Silent Participation 🖥️

HR: Workplace Engagement: 85%. Efficient delivery, but mentally absent in half the meetings.

Me: Because half of them could’ve been emails.

She scribbled: “Active Participant in Passive Meetings.”

I’ll take it.

Feedback Section — The People Glitch 🫡

HR: Any suggestions for the Universe?

Me: Yes. One thing — can we add a filter that blocks unsolicited advice from people who don’t follow it themselves? 🙅‍♀️

She nodded. The kind of HR nod that silently files feedback into the “Thank you for sharing” archive — never to be seen again.🗂️

The Verdict 

Finally, she handed me my appraisal summary. 📋

‘You’re doing fine”. No recognition. No Promotion.

She gave me a ‘Professional Overthinker, Quietly Managing Life’ badge. 🎖️

It also said – You’ll figure it out like you always do.

Though frankly, it felt accurate.

Because some of us aren’t here for titles or awards always. We’re also here for connections, real conversations, and navigating life with a smile even when the checklist doesn’t match the journey.❓🧳 🫶