(aka Why I Should Come With a – “No sudden movements please” Sign)

Some people are natural huggers. They spot a friend from twenty feet away, break into a run 🏃‍♀️and wrap them in a movie-style embrace.

Me? I treat hugs like complex algebra 🧮. Unexpected, confusing, and probably not going to end well 😵‍💫.

It always starts the same way: someone leans in with open arms and a warm smile.

And my brain? It goes into DEFCON 1 🚨.

Do I go in with one arm or two? Should I pat their back?🤔

Wait—did they just go for a side hug? Abort! Abort! ❌🫣

There was this one time a colleague went in for a goodbye hug, and I panicked and high-fived their shoulder ✋😳.

Another time, someone tried to do the emotional “we’re both crying” kind, and I tensed up so much, they asked if I was cold. 😭

Spoiler: I wasn’t cold. I was just overwhelmed by a tangle of social wires my body refuses to untangle. 🪢🧍‍♀️

Don’t get me wrong — I like people!

I just… prefer them at a polite, arm’s-length distance unless I’ve had a heads-up and at least three seconds of mental prep time.

Maybe one day I’ll master the art of the perfect, breezy hugs. 🌤️

Until then, if you ever see me freezing mid-hug like Windows 98 💻🌀, just know I’m trying. I really am.

P.S.

“if you ever try to hug me and I freeze – just know it’s not you. It’s just my inner introvert – full of affection, but bit confused how to express it in real time.” 🤍😅