Golden retriever 🐕.

Well-fitted shirt.

A quote about ‘real connections’, family, and long drives — in that exact, suspiciously curated order.

He looked normal.

Too normal.

I should’ve known.

We met at a quiet cafe.

I got there first.

He was five minutes late, walking as if he was gliding into a rom-com meet-cute moment, and placed his phone upright on the table — like it was the lead character, the one I was supposed to fall for.

He smiled and said,

“Say hi to Mom!”

I looked around.

No one was behind him.

Just… a FaceTime screen.

And on it: a lady in a sari, waving enthusiastically from her kitchen.

Hi beta, namaste!

You look tall!

He told me you’re vegetarian too!

I blinked.

She waved.

The server blinked.

She waved at him too.

I thought it was a joke. A bit. A prank.

But no — it was just Tuesday in auntyverse.

Actually ,

Spoiler: “It was just my life.”

She stayed for the entire date. 😮 

Judged my entire order like I was on a MasterChef: Daughter-in-Law Edition.

Corrected his English… Told me about his birth chart.

She checked — Does she wear eyeliner to temple also?

She suggested turmeric milk ‘for skin glow.’

And just before the bill came, she casually said: You’re much better than the last girl. She had a tattoo.

I sipped my iced latte and reconsidered all my life choices.

He asked if I’d like to meet her in person next time.

I said I had to go…

To the Himalayas.

Forever. 

Sigh …😮‍💨